Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Perhaps If I Didn't Live So Close To The Equator...

Oh my word, it is hot here. I don't know what the rest of the country's weather is like right now because my DVR is not set to tape the news, but I can't imagine that it could be anywhere near as hot as it is in Florida. And if it is then I'm still not impressed. Any Floridian worth their salt would be able to explain the difference of "Florida hot" to you. It's steamy. It's oppressive. It's humid.

It's miserable.

And I've lived here all my life.

And I'm still not used to it.

Despite what you might assume based on my physical appearance, I'm a delicate flower. Truly, a fragile, delicate flower. I'm freezing if the weather dips below 65 and I'm unbelievably hot once it goes above 85. It's not at all comforting to know that there is absolutely nowhere on this earth I could live year-round and be happy about it.

As you can imagine, living with me is a dream. Just ask my husband.

So, I'm an indoor girl. Always have been and always will be. It's a huge sacrifice these days just to take my kids outside to play. I cannot even imagine if they played sports, you know, outside. I've decided that I'm limiting all my children's activities to indoor sports.

I'd love to be able to tell you I'm kidding.

I've already done the soccer thing with my brother and sister. My brother had the good sense to stand off to the side and play with the grass while the other crazy, red-faced kids chased that ball around for what seemed like hours. My sister, on the other hand, ended up joining a traveling team (I think that meant she was good) and we spent our weekends in different cities around the state of Florida slowing melting to death while she chased a ball up and down a field.

With no trees.

Which meant no shade.

Which meant certain heat exhaustion.

The only redeeming part of those weekends was heading to the air-conditioned sanctuary of Olive Garden or Chili's for the big team meal.

Anyway, I've kind of deviated from the original intent of this post.

Which is to say it's hot. And it's only May. And there are at least 5 months before it will get any better at all. For the time being, it will just get worse.

And one of the most annoying things to me is the women who walk around looking like the heat doesn't bother them at all. We were at Sea World on Friday for a field trip. It had rained a little that morning so it felt like we were walking inside a sauna for the rest of the day. It was finally time to leave (read: I couldn't take it anymore) and I was pushing the double stroller towards the exit and dreading the long car ride home. My hair was in a pony tail, my cheeks were flushed, there were assorted sweat stains all over my shirt (just keepin' it real), and I'm certain that the look on my face was one of utter misery. We ran into one of the teachers from the school. Her blond hair was down and brushed, her sunglasses were perched atop her head, her make-up was perfect, her outfit was adorable - she looked cool as a cucumber. I don't know how she did it.

But, I do know one thing. That will never be me.

I am a delicate flower and I wilt in this oppressive heat.

Heat that reached 103 degrees on the car thermometer that day on the way home from Sea World.

And, I do realize that Florida isn't all that close to the Equator.

But, compared to the rest of the United States it really is.

So, there.

1 comment:

Tara said...

Why don't you load the kids into your air conditioned car and come and visit us? Jonah says we can all watch Sunday morning cartoons.